Life Doesn't Always Go My Way
by StRwBrRySpIcE
Summary: Life isn’t always gonna be easy and Lily Evans knows that. But she never expected it to be like this. She didn’t just decide “Gee, I think I’ll fall in love tomorrow.” It just happened. And Lily’s starting to find that Life doesn’t always go
1. Default Chapter

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LIFE DOESN'T ALWAYS GO MY WAY!

Disclaimer: I own Libby, Erin, and Candace. That's it. I think. Maybe the plot. I don't know... Don't sue! It won't do you any good anyways! 

Summary: Life isn't always going to be easy and 17 year old Lily Evans knows that. But she never expected it to be like this. She didn't just one day say "Gee, I think I'll fall in love tomorrow." It just happened. And Lily's starting to find that Life doesn't always go her way but sometimes really good friends make it easier. 

A/N: I'm not sure how long this'll be.....probably only a few chapters but I'm not sure.

Do you have any clue what it's like to fall in love with one of your friends? Or even worse, on of your *best* friends? Or do you know what it's like to not know whether to smile or frown? You want to smile because the person you love more than anything is right next to you and you want to frown because you know they don't love you and probably never will.

And then, even if things *did* take a turn for the best and he said he loved you and asked you out, you couldn't say yes. Why? Don't worry, I have my reason. That reason is a person, Libby. 

Libby Mitchells, my absolutely "bestest" friend in the whole wide world. That what we call each other, we've been best friends since forever. She's muggleborn, like me, but her younger sister is a witch too. The three of us, Libby, Erin, and me, we grew up together. Erin is only a year younger than we are so she's with us a lot. Being best friends with someone since you were three, when you're now 17, is a long time and you wouldn't do anything to hurt that person or it'd kinda be hurting yourself. So that's my reason, I can't hurt her. How would this be hurting her? Let's put it this way, I've fallen head-over-heals in love with James Potter and so has she. 

I haven't always loved him mind you. In fact, I used to hate him, kinda, for a few days. See James he's rich, ok so I lied. James potter isn't rich, he's more than rich. Anyway, when I first heard that I though "OH great! A snobby rich kid". Not that I have anything against rich people. I mean my family isn't exactly driving in the car headed south to the poor house. But at my fathers' business parties there was *always* some snobby, self-centered, stuck up rich person. So, I had decided I hated James Potter. And by the third day of classes, James was "Mr. Popular" and had the best marks in out year, next to me anyways. Not to be conceded, but I wasn't exactly un-popular either. 

So my friends and his friends (Libby, Arabella Figg, Candace Jackson, and in second year Erin, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew) hung around each other and became "best friends" James and I were stuck together. So after about a week our "hate" was a "friendly competition" and that "friendly competition" turned into us being almost best friends. So he *is* my best "guy" friends.

It wasn't until the middle of sixth year that Libby decided she like him. At that time, I like the idea, my tow best friends together, who wouldn't like the idea? I'm not exactly sure when I stated loving him, as more than a friend. But it was somewhere between sixth and seventh year. I'm guessing it was when we all went to James' house for the summer Le me re-phrase that. When we went to James' Mansion for the summer. James doesn't have a house, a mansion sure, not a house. There was only two weeks of vacation left when we went. Erin, Libby, and I had stayed at Arabella's along with Candace the night before. We were planning on flooing to James' MANSION. Yes, I said flooing. See the eight of us, we're witches and wizards and we all attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We're all in Gryffindor house too. Just to clear that up for you. Anyways, it was about noon. When James sees me for the first time in awhile, like summer vacation, he always gives me this huge hug and picks me up and spins me around. A lot of people think we're going out, of course we always thought the idea was funny. Yes, that was the day I fell in love with him. When we got out of the fireplace I saw him, his messy jet-black hair and sapphire blue eyes. My knees buckled, I thought it was from using floo powder but it wasn't and when he picked me up, my heart felt all weird. 

I didn't exactly realize it until a few days later. I must have looked worried or something that night because everyone was asking if I was ok.

"Lils?"

"Yeah?"

"You ok?"

Yeah Lib, why wouldn't I be?"

"Dunno, you just don't look like you"

"Mmm, I'm fine, just thinkin' I suppose."

"Ok, are you sure though?"

"Yep! I'm fine."

"Good."

I smiled at Libby and she smiled back.

When James and I found out that we'd be head boy and girl together he picked me up and spun me again. And my heart felt all warm and stuff again, it *always* did when he touched me.

It wasn't long before we were at Kingscross Station waiting to board the train. It was there that Amos Diggory stopped me. He was a seventh year along with me but he was a Hufflepuff. I had liked him last year and I thought I still had. but when I saw him, I just wanted to get on the train, I didn't really care. I told everyone to go, but Libby said she'd wait for me.

"Lily, I was just wondering if maybe you'd want to go to Hogsmeade with me sometime?"

Wow! Whatever I'd expected him to say, it wasn't that.

"Um. You know what Amos? I don't thinks so, sorry" I turned him down as nicely as I could but I was just surprised. I hadn't expected that. If he would've asked that last year I would have been jumping up and down right now. I turned around and saw Libby. She looked just as surprised.

"Lily! Why'd you say no?"

" I don't know, I didn't want to I guess."

"Why?" She asked, sliding the compartment door open. 

"Why what?" Asked Sirius

I started so say "Nothing" but Libby decided they needed to know. 

"AMOS DIGGORY ASKED HER OUT!" She screamed.

It could've been my imagination but James seemed to be paying a little more attention than before.

"What! Really?" Screamed Bella and Candy. Those are our nicknames for them.

"Yep" I said

"You said yes, right?" Asked Bella.

I thought James looked a tad worried, he knew I had like him. Maybe.... No, he doesn't like me, besides what about Libby, I thought to myself.

"No, actually I said no"

James looked relieved, maybe he did. Oh! Who am I kidding? He hadn't ever like Amos anyway.

"Why?" Asked Candy

"Dunno, didn't want to." They dropped the subject.

Not a whole lot happened after that. Things were pretty normal. I had decided that maybe my love for James would go away, it didn't. September passed quickly and so did October. Dumbledore had told James and I that we would have to plan the Christmas Ball this year and the "end of the year ball". It was going to be one of the last year that Hogwarts would have them, with the Dark Lord Voldemort rising it wasn't exactly safe to have them. He was especially feared now, he had been for quite a few year. The balls had started not that long ago, they hadn't had them before. But as the Dark Lord was gaining power, Dumbledore decided to have some fun for the students, but now it was starting to get dangerous. 

James and I were stating to spend even more time together. Libby and I were spending quite a lot of time together too. Actually, we were all spending more time together. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had always been best friends. James and Sirius had met when they were like 5 and were both troublemakers and they got along well. They had met Remus at a Christmas Party when they were 8 and Peter they met when they were 10. They met him in Diagon Alley. Libby and I had met, like I said, when we were three and we met Candy and Bella at Hogwarts. The eight of us got along well and became best friends. But there were still some that didn't know a lot about each other. But now we've been spending so much time together we know each other practically inside and out. But no one knew I loved James like I do. Well, so I didn't think. Libby and James were going out now, and I was happy for her, she loved him *almost* as much as I do. So anyways, they'd been spending a lot of time together to. 

One day in November, I was up in the dormitory, I had come up to get a book and Libby had followed me. I didn't notice. I was about to leave when she came in. She walked over to my bed and sat on it sitting "Indian" style. I knew she wanted to talk so I sat down by her. 

"You love him, don't you?" she asked quietly.

"Who?"

"James"

"I--" but she cut me off. 

"You two would make a cute couple. You should ask him out."

"Libby! Number one, you *know* I never ask *anyone* out and besides what about you?"

"Lily, your my bestest friend in the whole wide world, and I want you to be happy"

"But Libby, I couldn't do that to you! You've liked him longer anyways *and* he's your boyfriend"

"Yeah, sure, but Lils, I don't *love* him. --" That was a lie, I knew she did, but I wasn't going to say it. 

I opened my mouth to talk but she cut me off again. "No Lily, I don't *think* you love him, I know you love him." She knew I was going to ask "And you think I do?" before I even asked. Libby and I had known each other so long that we could do that.

"And so, " she continued "I'm "giving" him up, if he ever asks you out, I want you to say yes. Don't worry about me."

"Libby I can't, besides he doesn't like me like that"

"You can, and I've seen the way he looks at you, it's like the way you look at him. So I want you to promise that you'll say yes if he asks you out."

"Libby!! Don't do this! I know you love him!" I didn't want to take drastic measures and say this, but I couldn't stand her giving this up, for me. 

She shrugged "Maybe. But Still. Not like you do." 

Does your best friend lie as much as mine does?? Ok... Maybe she's not exactly *lying* she *is* doing it for me.

"Promise me Lily!! Please?!"

"I can't...You can't do this! Not for me!"

"It's what best friends do. Please Lily, I want you to have him, you love him, he loves you! Promise! Please.

I started crying. "I promise but you have to promise me too, if he ever asks you out again.. Then you have to say yes too."

"Nope" she grinned through her tears. I don't like him anymore" She did, but she was doing this for me. "Besides, he'll have the girl of his dreams now" I hugged her. 

"You're the best Libby! I love you, you know, as a friend"

"I know I'm the best" we were still hugging but I knew she had that grin on her face again " and so are you. I love you too."

A/N: Please review...the more reviews I get the sooner I write....probably....anyways...the friendship between Lily and Libby is kinda based on me and my best friend. Kinda... We've known each other since forever and stuff...anyways.....see that pretty button?? CLICK IT! Please?


	2. It wasn't supposed to happen like that

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A/N: Yep. I really think I _would_ get more reviews if I actually updated sometimes. Anywho....I'm really really really really really really really sorry about that. But here's the second chapter. I'm hoping to get more out soon too.

Disclaimer: See Previous Chapter. And I don't own the song in this either... Britney Spears does.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Life Doesn't Always Go My Way ~ Chapter 2

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I used to think I had the answers to everything

But now I know

That life doesn't always go my way

Feels like I'm caught in the middle

That's when I realize

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman

All I need is time, a moment that is mine

While I'm in between 

I'm not a girl

So ooook? My absolute BEST friend in the world just gave up her boyfriend for me. And I love him...so does she. But she say he _likes_ me. It should be easy now.... shouldn't it? He asks me out, I say yes, we get married and live happily ever after. It's like fairy tale. But that'd never happen, right?

So you'd never believe this. He actually did come up to me and ask me to go out with him. It went like this...

"Hey Lils?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I talke to you?"

"Yeah... sure."

"Will... um... well..." he took a deep breath.

"Yes?"

"Well you see... I like you... a lot. Will you go out with me?"

I smiled brightly. "Of course."

~*~*~*~*~*

So yeah. you didn't actually believe that did you? I hope not. I mean come on.... ok this _was_ one of my dreams once but come _on._ Life isn't that easy... trust me. I know. 

But really... what _if _he would have actually asked me out? What would have _I _said? Sure, I promised Lib I'd say yes, but that doesn't mean I actually would. I mean come on. I couldn't do that to her. I don't care _what_ she said because she wasn't and isn't over him. And she's obviously starting to realize I'm trying my hardest to ignore him.

Unfortunately, more people _did_ notice my behavior and started looking at me weird. Come on... I mean, it isn't _my_ fault I fell in love with my best guy friend, who just happened to be going out with my BESTEST BEST friend, in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Then, she broke up with him (mind you she did love him, just not quite as much as me) for me. All for me. I know she'll have other boyfriends and stuff but come on... what if she never falls in love again? Do you know what kind of guilt that would leave me with?

Whether you do or not, it _would_ leave me with guilt. I mean......come on.....(ok...you'd think, me being one of the top student at Hogwarts, besides James of course, I would start think of better saying then "I mean" and "Come on") Anyway.... it isn't often you and your best friend love the same guy and she gives him up for you and then her life is ruined. OK... maybe it is. BUT I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!

As I was saying, I think Libby's catching on to me. She's been watching me look at James quite a lot. Then one day she came up to me.

"LILY MARIE CHARITY FAITH EVANS..." (Hey! My parents named me... so not my fault.)

"What?" I asked her.

"You PROMISED. You can't go back on that."

"I'm not... he hasn't asked me."

"Well... you've been ignoring him, walking away from him. And I think, he thinks, your mad at him."

"Why'd I be mad at him?"

"Well, I never told him _why_ I broke up with him... and I think, he thinks, it his fault and that your mad at him because of it."

"Oh...." I was speechless. Libby had won again.

"At least come talk to him with me."

"Fine."

We walked into the common room and I think I would describe it as my worst moment ever. There was James.... kissing Alicia, some Hufflepuff girl. Suddenly, I got overly mad and Libby could tell. She looked worried. (She always says I look scary when I'm mad.)

"JAMES POTTER! Save it for somewhere else, at some other time, and maybe it should be somewhere a little MORE private." I yelled, using my hand to emphasize what I was saying. I always did that.

He looked surprised that I was yelling but I kept going, I didn't care.

"10 points from Gryffindor for bringing another person from another house into the common room. Good-bye Alicia." 

She got up and left. This made James mad. 

"What' wrong with you?"

"What do you mean 'What's wrong with me`?"

"You never used to care who I was with, or where I was, you'd just laugh at me."

"That was then, this is now."

"What's with you?" You've been ignoring me for a couple of WEEKS and now your yelling at me. You've changed."

"Gee, I'm sorry." I started in a baby voice. And then it changed to yelling. " I FORGOT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIVE MY LIFE, AROUND YOURS."

"Your IMPOSSIBLE! You always, prance around like your better than everyone else here and that you know everything, and you act like no one else has any feelings. Well let me tell you something, your NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE. Sometimes I even think some of the SLYTHERINS are better than you, at least they're pureblood. I don't even know why I was ever your friend."

Now you could say....I was more than mad. He was almost calling me a mudblood. I was definitely more than mad.

"And I don't know why I was yours. 'Cuz your just ANNOYING."

"Maybe we just shouldn't be friends anymore then."

"Fine with me. I'll be better that way."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"FINE!" I screamed at the top the top of my lungs into his face. This was stupid.

"FINE!" He screamed and stomped up the dormitory steps. 

"What a PRAT!" I said to Libby, making sure it was loud enough for James to here. Then I pulled her up to the girls dormitory and slammed the door as hard as I possibly could. 

"I HATE JAMES POTTER!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Wow... I wasn't expecting to EVER hear myself say _that._

"Lily....?"

"Yeah Lib... I know...we NEED to talk." 


	3. Chapter 3

So just in a matter of WEEKS my life made a drastic change. I spent quite a few nights crying and I decided that falling in love was never good. Erin, who although was a sixth year, slept in the 7th year dormitories with us, but anyways, Erin, Libby, Arabella, and Candace were with me the whole time. I told them the WHOLE story and we all decided that falling in love was bad... an that we hated James Potter. Even Libby, who had also loved him.

After awhile I was better, kinda. James tried to talk to me earlier today, I can remember it PERFECTLY, every little word. 

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~*~*~*Flashback ~*~*~*

I was walking through a corridor, I was kinda lost, seeing a was got on one of the moving staircases but I wasn't that worried, it had happened many a times before. All of a sudden, James came up behind me, so now that I think about it I couldn't have been *that* lost. Anyways...he came up behind me and I was in NO mood to talk to him, I may have been calm about the whole staircase thing but I didn't like the fact that it happened and I didn't exactly want to talk to *him*... of all the people that could have came up behind me.

"Lils?"

"Don't call me 'Lils', only my friends can call me that."

He stopped walking for a second, I knew I had hurt his feelings, but look at what he had done to me. And now I sound selfish.

"LI_LY_."

"That's better."

"Would you stop walking, please?"

"Why should I?"

"Because I want to talk to you." 

For some odd reason, this made me mad, more than made, furious. Horribly. horribly furious, but enough about how mad I was. 

"Oh. In _THAT_ case," I stopped, dead in my tracks and spun around, sharply, so I was now facing him. My face was probably only a foot away from his. I hadn't realized he'd been that close. I certainly hadn't wanted him to be, had I? I continued my earlier sentence, "I'll just stop because _you_ want me to. Why do you want to talk to me James? Hmm? Why? I'd really like to know. Do you want to torment me more? Hurt my feelings some more? Call me more names? Hmm? Your not answering me. I thought we were friends, as you one said, darn close to BEST FRIENDS, well just a little fact for you, best friends don't do what you did. But in that case, neither do friend friends. So I guess I was wrong, I shouldn't have thought we were friends. You just saw me as what I am. A mudblood. That's what I am isn't it? A filthy mudblood, that's no better than Slytherins? Hmm? Isn't that what called me?? Wasn't it YOU who said I was annoying and I thought I was better than everyone else?? Wasn't that you? Well you know what James Potter? I'm not better than anyone in this school and I know it. I've _never _thought that. And you of all people should know that. If you ever cared about me at all, you would've know that. But that's right...I'm just a mudblood, why would you care about me? But you know what? I'll stop walking, just because you want me too. 

He stared at me, speechless. 

"Nothing to say now? Well I have something to say to you. I HATE YOU JAMES POTTER." With that, I slapped him as hard as I could and turned, making sure my hair hit him in the face and walked away, calmly. 

I heard him mumble something but I couldn't understand it. 

~*~*~* End Flashback*~*~*~

"Lils?"

"Yeah Candie?"

"Do you know where everyone else is?"

"Nope. Why?"

"Oh--I was just--"

The door flew open and Erin, Bella, and Libby all walked in.

"Oh. I found them Candie."

"Found what?" asked Erin

"Oh, you know...nothin' that important."

"Oh."

Candie and I burst out laughing and the three gave us strange looks, very strange looks.

"Did we miss something?? What is *so* funny?"

"Nothing.... nothing...Inside joke...I guess." I said, or tried to say between giggles. 

"Mmm-kay." said Bella, giving us even more weird glances.

"Anyways, what's up with James?"

I immediately stopped laughing and my head snapped up. "What about him?" I asked, grinning evilly.

"Well, he just walked in the a huge red spot on his cheek and he was mumbling something. I caught the words: "stupid, girl, talk, mad, and slap. Oh, and he looked like he had been crying..."

Crying. Had I made James Potter cry? Of course not, that was ridiculous, I knew it wouldn't have been from the slap, but what about what I said to him? That wouldn't made him CRY, would've it?

"Mmm, " started Candie "sounds like his newest "fling" got the best of him."

"Or someone else." I said, grinning.

They quickly understood and looked at me, shocked. "You slapped James Potter?"

"So what if I did?"

"Go Lily. He deserved it and all, with his stupid "new dating routine."

"Yeah, no really." (**A/n: If you don't understand that it's an inside joke...it basically means yeah, no duh.)**

I guess I better elaborate. Well, James, he's become what one could call a --well, -- PLAYER. I swear he has a different girlfriend every other day. Dates em, dumps em, gets and new one, dates her, dumps her. He can't even remember their NAMES half the time. It's degrading really.

But hey. All the more reason to DESPISE JAMES POTTER.

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~*~*~ James POV*~*~*

I was walking along a corridor, I was kind of lost, and I blame it all on those stupid moving stairs. But of course, me, being a Marauder and all, wasn't REALLY _lost_, but I noticed a redhead about 10 feet in front of me and there was no mistaking who it was. Lily Evans.

I walked up to her, to try and talk to her, I realize that I had been harsh to her, actually, down right mean, but I hadn't meant to be. I had been having a bad day anyways. 

"Lils?"

"Don't call me 'Lils', only my friends can call me that."

That hurt. A lot. But I guess I deserved it. But damn it, I _wanted_ to be her friend. I _wanted_ to be able to call her 'Lils'. 

"LI_LY!"_

"That's better."

"Would stop walking, please?"

We argued for a few more seconds before she finally stopped walking and turned to face me. She started yelling at me. and I was taking in all the words and I realized that I had been *more* than mean to her. A lot more. I wanted to hug her, and say 'sorry', like I had always used to. I wanted to be the one who always comforted her.

She started saying how I said she thought she was better than everyone else. Then she started saying that if I had EVER cared about her or listened to her at all I would have remember that that wasn't true. And then I remembered. Her life was far from perfect. Her father, who had died in her 3rd year, had always wanted her to be 'Miss Perfect'. So she tried, and he pushed her and pushed her. Her mother was much the same. Her sister on the other hand, they didn't care so much about. Lily figured that it was because her sister already _was_ perfect. I hadn't ever seen her sister but from what I heard...well.. what I heard from Lily, was that she was perfect, pretty, smart, you know, everything. But from her friends, I heard the exact opposite. Lily always thought she was worse than everyone else because of it, and what I had said to her made it really bad. Before I knew it, she shouted "I HATE YOU JAMES POTTER" and then she slapped me. 

She turned and walked away. When she said she hated me, it hurt me SO much. I mumbled something and I really hope she didn't hear it... or maybe I wish she would have. I had said what I had wanted to say to her since the beginning of 3rd year, "I love you Lily Evans."

I realized that I had started crying, and I didn't want that. I was crying because of Lily Evans. I walked towards the Entrance Hall, I needed fresh air. I stayed out there for who knows how long. And then I realized something. I could have lost my badge for what I said to Lily. She could have gone and turned me in. And I knew that she knew she could have, but she didn't. That's how she was though. She wouldn't hurt anyone, at least not intentionally, but she had definitely hurt me, more than I had ever been hurt before, but not on purpose.

But hey, all the more reason to LOVE LILY EVANS. 

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A/N: That was kinda fun to write!! Hehe!! Ok... sorry about the LONG wait and the short chapter. I would have had it up sooner but I had them all typed (all my next chapters except for two) but then I didn't have time to post that night and somehow they all got deleted so now I'm trying to re-type them but I have like NO time. OH WELL. And for anyone that reads my other stories I'm trying to re-type those too.

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Thanx for all the reviews! 

*Luv*


	4. Chapter 4

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A/N: Sorry for not updating for so long. I'm writing new chapters and posting them all tonight ( one for every story) Please read and review and I'll try to get more up ASAP

LIFE DOESN'T ALWAYS GO MY WAY

Lily's PoV:

I buried my head in my pillow as I wept again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just forget him and move on? I knew the answer, I needed him. I loved him, _still_. But yet, I hated him. Hated him for what he put me through. 

I sat up, hugging my pillow to my chest and I burrowed my head into the fluffiness of it. Maybe, I thought, I should talk to him. Fix things, tell him the _truth_. Yes, I decided, that's what I would do. 

But not now. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew in my head and my heart that if I didn't do it now I never would but my feet wouldn't allow me to move. My head wouldn't allow my feet to move. And I knew my heart wouldn't allow my head to tell my feet to move.

I didn't want to get hurt. I was scared, scared of love. Scared of feeling that wretched heartbreak all over again. 

I had managed to stand but after coming to this realization, I was back a square one. I had collapsed down onto the ground, wrenching sobs escaping my mouth. 

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'Why' I asked myself. Why had I fallen in love with my best friend.

I could still feel the salty tears running down my face as it became harder to breath. I could _taste_ the tears in my mouth. I had to pull myself together but I couldn't. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, I couldn't _think. _ My body was paralyzed, so was my mind. 

All I could do was feel. Feel the heartbreak and sorrow inside of me. I could feel my broken heart aching to be comforted by the love of my life. I felt it inside of the though that it wasn't going to happen. 

My mind began to work again and it was swirled with thoughts. No, I couldn't talk to him. Not now, not ever. The thought of never being on good terms with James Potter again made my heart hurt again. I needed to fix things, but I couldn't. It hurt to much to see him, but it hurt to much to not see him.

I was so confused as I stood, using my bed as a brace for myself. The sobs continued to escape my mouth, no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I felt nauseous as I tried to head to the bathroom. I was going to be sick. 

I tried to walk but I couldn't. It hurt to much. I braced myself at the end of my bed as I felt myself get lightheaded and fall to the floor. Everything went black and I couldn't feel anymore. The pain was gone.

James PoV

I raked my hands through my hair like I always did when I was nervous. I need to talk to her. I need to tell her, tell her that I loved her but I was to scared. She hated me and my life was a mess. 

What was the point of telling her just to get hurt again?

Just to get into another fight with her?

Just to feel horrible inside?

There wasn't one. There was no point and so I told myself that I had to get over Lily Evans and that was that.

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A/n: I know it short, sorry guys. I'll update asap. Please Review.


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